now shouting in triumph, now sunk in despair

day 3 on antidepressants. Today I feel not really good. My brain fills in any way vague. sometimes I sit there and stare in front of me, that's very scary. Yesterday I felt my fingers would fly over the keyboard and now everything runs in slow motion. Tomorrow, I will hide myself in a lake. There, I will try to write, worked 5 years ago already, so why not tomorrow? I've eaten almost nothing since yesterday. But I have no hunger, I was just thirsty. In the moment I could fall asleep immediately, but that could already be over in a couple minutes. is not the first time today that I could just sleep and uproot trees in the next moment. horrible